I was worrying last week about age and I’m glad to tell you that today I’m managing just to keep away from the mirror. It’s not that I spend a long time in front of the reflecting device, in fact as little time as possible so I don’t have to dwell on the sagging jowls, spreading crows feet and travel bags packed with stones that hang loosely beneath my red eyes.
This week I have more worrying concerns to occupy my time. No it’s not money or sex or food or even the state of the world – although I will admit to being a touch worried about all those things at some point since my last communication (mainly food as I’m still dieting – I’m craving a double chocolate muffin with plain chocolate chips and chocolate sauce oozing deliciously from it as I raise it to my hungry mouth…).
Where was I? Oh yes my biggest niggling worry? Existence. Have you ever thought to yourself, can I really tell if this is all a dream, would I know if I was asleep or awake? Perhaps I’m in some kind of coma and my mind has built a construct of such detail that I’m living a life full of people, places and things from my imagination. Well if I am all I can say is I wish I had a little bit more imagination, one where I had just a little more money, a little more play and a lot less work and I could munch chocolate cake until it made me sick (but didn’t add any inches to my waist).
Apparently we all build a model of the world which we carry around in our noggins until the end of our days. And nobody knows exactly how another human sees the world. All our models could be completely different but unless somebody develops a way to ‘mind jump’ then we’ll never know.
I’m feeling a touch paranoid. Have you seen Red Dwarf (and for you non-sci fi savvy non-uk based non Dwarfers this is a little BBC programme with quite a cult following, a comedy about a guy who is the last human, stranded aboard the good ship Red Dwarf with a cat, a hologram and an android – the special effects were excellent for the £5 per episode budget, but that wasn’t the point, the comedy was in the timing), the best ever episode involved the crew awaking from a false reality machine, the adventures had all been a ‘dream’ with each crew member taking on an alternative self. There was a catch at the end but just in case you ever see it I won’t spoil it. Knowing my luck I’d be even less cool than I am already (I’d be Duane Dibbly – you’ll need to look this up to get the full meaning)!
So am I dreaming, do I really exist or am I just a character in somebody elses book or a character in a cheap computer game (one of those that you can get for pennies)? And on that note, for now, I’m shutting my program down for a few days but I’ll be back soon if you eat that cheese before bedtime or watch that really boring documentary again!