Once upon a time in a land of people with voices honeyed with the grit of the north and peppered with the laconic wit of the midlands, a man was teased and tortured by the beasts that dwelled within his home.
The king was a mild looking creature of pure white fluff but his eyes could either drown a person in love or instill fear in equal measure. Oliver ruled with an iron paw, his sabre sharp claws always ready to extend and gently taunt the poor man. The very worst part of the man’s day was usuallly in the early hours when the rest of the world was at peace and the silver moon sent gentle light through the partly open curtains.
The king was often inpatient for his morning meal and a gentle stroll in his grounds. The man needed to serve not slumber so several jabs and a couple of well aimed head-butts were all that were needed to get the servant up and moving.
The rest of the beasts were less controlling though the dog could use his big doleful eyes to wind the man around his paw digits, the budgie used constant high-pitched instruction to wear him down and the hamster simply stared, and stared and stared!