Nothing can twist your heart and mess with your mind more, nothing can slice through your soul with more ease like a hot knife through butter. Chills tingle down the spine, goose bumps pop with a shivering touch, a face from whenever and more.
Does your memory scare you, does it pick those perfect moments to whisper a name or flash a thought that sinks your heart? Do you find a revery in solitude but sob at the loss of something you can’t quite touch?
As you sift through your life, events build, time gathers more than dust. The bitter with the sweet, the warmth with the chill, the ecstacy with the depths of despair. Your time here is mixed and melted and ground and salted with tears.
You are alone in a vast seething crowd, you are a speck on the beach, a single mind in a sea of thought. But even when calm, even when the softness of love holds you close, then is the time. Beware the ghosts.
Once more I find myself (I often lose myself as well and in fact it’s quite easy to do but luckily I have family who know where to find me and a quick slap across the face with a cold flannel usually does the trick) apologising for my absence.
I was last active on here in the depths of winter – which this year proved to be quite mild compared to previous arctic periods (I didn’t even get the chance for a spot of snowman making mores the pity).
Since my last entry I have been jettisoned from the big ship NHS and currently find myself ‘resting’. Not that I’ve been too restful and can now happily report that since my redundancy date of 3rd April I have applied for 150 vacancies of various kinds, had four interviews and gained 0 employment. It is now 3 months since I last worked and though I could get to enjoy the relative freedom I do need to find a job soon (unless I find a suitcase full of cash or that lottery win finally comes in).
I still get up each day at 6:30, get my youngest ready for school and log on ready for another exciting day of searching. I do get a little annoyed at relative lack of responses; I think out of the 150 I’ve only had communications from about 6% of them.
What else can I report? Well I am getting a little tired of Jeremy Kyle and if I see another house auction I’ll probably implode. On the other hand the garden is looking a lot better than it would have if I’d been working; I even had chance with my good wife to build a new Meccano hut which was a challenge (I still have all my fingers but did gain a couple of scars).
I now hereby promise I will return soon to the good old blog, possibly before Christmas.
I thank you for your patience.
It’s only Boxing day and already we have that coming down feeling. What is it about a single day in the year that gets so much build up and then… down we go? Anyway on the food side I have managed to be fairly controlled though I am sure my belt feels a little tighter! I got exactly what I asked for from Santa – but I’m not hard to buy for: books and CD’s, the simple tastes.
My wife used to complain every year that I always asked for the same things but I think she’s finally got used to the fact and it does make buying for me very easy. I still find it very hard to buy for her and thinking of new and imaginative things is hard. And on a small budget it is even more difficult. I did manage to get her a few things and she seemed happy with them.
What is the best present you have had? Was it imaginative or expensive? Quirky? A complete surprise or something you knew you’d be getting? I bought a dolphin for my wife one year – we didn’t have to accommodate it thank goodness (we didn’t and still don’t have a swimming pool) – it was one of those adoptive schemes where you get a pic and a letter from the beast. Yes I know dolphins are very intelligent but lack the digits for a pen or keyboard but I think you know what I mean. But for my wife it just wasn’t the same as actually having ‘Flipper’ there in the back yard chattering away and we couldn’t afford to go visit the lovely creature in its own natural environment.
Anyway I have a pile of books to read and a tonne of cd’s to listen to (another 4 Neil Young ones from the trillion he’s released in the 100 years he’s been around – I have a few more to collect).
Enjoy the rest of the holidays where ever you may be.
A quick one today and all about the delights of a truffle – the chocolate kind! My wife today decided to treat me to some home-made ones and they are very very nice and a touch alcoholic!
I have had these before, a friend of my wife’s made them and they were scrummy and I have had the ones you get in packets but the home-made ones are very different and actually do melt in your mouth. They are almost irresistible (I have to actually sit on my hands to stop myself going to the fridge to get them – they have to be kept there to keep fresh as they have cream as well as the dark chocolate in them)!
I am just at the end of a diet, my millionth attempt to stay below 12 stones (yes I know I shouldn’t be yo-yo dieting and it does get quite dizzy going up and down all the time). So I need to take a more disciplined stance to staying at this weight and not overindulge! Now this may be quite tricky given the time of year but I’ll give it my best shot. I will eat but one truffle a day and maybe two on Christmas day… maybe…
I may have said this before but why is life so cruel as to make food so addictive and so delicious? If you give up smoking then you don’t die, or if you give up alcohol you don’t die, if you give up food, well… you can never go cold turkey! Not that I eat turkey being a vegetarian (and when I wasn’t I did like a bit of cold turkey with some stuffing in a nice wholemeal sandwich… with pickle…).
Ah food! There I go again! You can’t go in any direction of discussion without it coming up! And it’s everywhere in every shape and form; on the television, on billboards, in the cupboard in the fridge… Right that reminds me I have an urge to eat another truffle!
Summer Poppies by John D Rhodes
I decided to get my brushes out, not done one for a while and not tried acrylics before… four hours later I’d managed this which I’m quite happy with.
For a time it settles
A beautiful fully formed thing
A mystery a gift
For a moment it fills the air
With Gentle but vibrant colour
A life, natures kiss
Then it is gone
And all around seems bare empty
But remember the joy
Of a simple thing a miracle
The melancholy mist
Let it always live
In a special corner
Where corn fields grow
A treasured thing to keep
And never more to miss