And so I now find myself in a land I don’t know, a dimension where the laws of physics or some such mystical nonsense no longer hold sway. It must have been while I slept. Perhaps it was those greys the little blighters, deciding a trans-dimensional shift was the order of the day ignoring ritual back passage shenanigans (they must get very bored and to be honest I’m sure it’s a chore).
In my previous existence not telling the truth was a sin of a sort and not looked upon as a way to influence people, make friends or get a job. In fact one sniff of such dishonesty and your copy book was blighted, burned and the ashes scattered. A little white lie could be just as damaging as a dirty big honker (though a million plus parents will tell you differently I’m sure, it’s all down to the situation and season).
Here it’s different. In fact the bigger the lie, the more outrageously crass, the bigger the reward. It’s as though the lie becomes invisible, it becomes a mis-truth which we all know boys and girls is not the same thing as a lie, it’s cosy and smart and smiles a smile you just have to forgive… Or forget.
I’m in bed by 6:00 most nights, I leave the window wide open. Those big eyed guys from the far flung galaxy – where a trip to earth is like a holiday at Butlins (but with extra bodily embarrassing games that make carrying a water filled balloon clenched between straining buttocks look safe) – are welcome to come back and take me home.